Life of a pirate girl: FAQ

May 15, 2018


If I had a dollar for everytime I’ve been asked the following questions, I’d be able to afford all the clothes that don’t make the cut and get left behind in my online shopping cart: 

1. What happened to your leg? I was born with a very, very small and misshaped femur bone in my right leg. My knee basically replaces my hip and my foot is where my knee would be. It’s technical term is PFFD but I can never remember what that stands for without googling it.


2. You can paint your toe nails? Yep! And Being able to take my foot off to paint my toes is a serious amputee benefit!! Also, I can change the polish using normal polish remover.


3. Why do you even wear socks? Because I have to wear one on my real foot so I wear one on my fake foot. Also, when the rubber on the shell of my foot rubs against the inside of my shoe it makes the most annoying squeaking noise in the world so I wear a sock to prevent that sound.

4. Why do you wear a shoe on that foot? Well..why do you wear two shoes? Because you have two feet. And so do I. That actually may be the one question that pisses me off. I don’t get pissed off by people’s comments very often (almost never) but this one just feels ignorant. And maybe I shouldn’t let it get it to me, but it does and I am a pretty understanding person so I think it’s only fair to have one thing that grinds my gears.


5. Do you sleep with your leg on? No way! It gets so hot and it makes it uncomfortable.

6. Can you drive? Oh yeah! I drive with my left foot.  Admittedly I’m a shitty driver but not because I have a fake leg. It’s mostly because I like to drive fast.

7. Can you feel this? This question is typically followed by a series of light touches to my leg. The answer is almost always yes. I can feel the vibration on my stump so even some of the lightest touches I can feel the movement.


Please keep in mind I am absolutely obsessed with talking about my leg and my prosthesis. Even if I don’t get paid a dollar every time I hear these questions, I would answer them. If I’m having a bad day and you ask me why I wear two shoes, I may be sassy with you, but other than that question, I will be happy to answer anything you ask me about my leg. I love having a good prosthetic conversation. I totally geek out and it’s exciting for me! 

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