Self-love isn’t found all by yourself.

October 9, 2017

Self-love can seem like a lonely journey. I mean “self” is in the freaking phrase, so yeah, it’s about you and only you. It’s all about figuring out who you are as a person, worshiping that person, laughing at your mistakes, and loving yourself without fail.

But part of loving yourself, entails surrounding yourself with people who see your value. If you aren’t strong enough to walk away from people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, then there is more work to do. This is something I struggled with for years. I thought I could handle being friends with a toxic person without it affecting me mentally, but I was wrong. It took years to realize I needed to walk away from anyone who wasn’t able to help push me forward.

In return, you should be there to push someone up. You should care for your friends and family as you care for yourself. If you aren’t giving and receiving positivity in any relationship, you shouldn’t be in it (and I’m not talking just romantic relationships). 

With all this being said, I realized this weekend how truly blessed I have been with an amazing group of women who accept me for all my quirks and allow me to be who I want to be. I truly have one great support system and I can do nothing more than wish that upon everyone.

For the first time in two years my friends and I from college were able to all get together for one night. There was laughter, tears, jokes, stories, conversation, food and wine. We reminisced, we vented and we supported each other as much as we could. And to say I needed this one night, with all five of us in one place, is an understatement.

Over the years, some of us have gotten married, moved away, one had a baby, some moved back and some never left. None of us are the same person. We are all so different. But these women are my soul sisters. They have kept me sane and made me crazy all at the same time. And I’m sure I’ve driven them crazy, but they still support me. 



In fact, when I told them about my website and my accompanying instagram account, they were some of the first to follow me. They read my posts pretty regularly—when they aren’t busy (I don’t fault them for not reading if they don’t have time because we are all busy and I know they support me in other ways.). They understand my need to post on a regular basis and are always there to help me figure out backdrops and poses and outfits. And they let me jump on my soapbox when I get into a “body-posi” mood and are there to keep me grounded by telling me not to rush other people’s self-love journeys because no one’s journey looks the same or takes the same amount of time.

I couldn’t do this alone and I don’t think anyone should have to. My friends are there to help me on the days I need extra encouragement. They are there to for advice and brainstorming partners when I can’t get all my thoughts together. They showed me I’m worthy of their friendship and worthy of my own love.


So if you feel like jumping on this journey to being wholly and truly you, don’t feel like you need to be alone. Find good friends. Lean on your family members who understand it’s not a easy journey. And never forget to give back as much as you receive. Feel worthy and give worth.

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