©2017 BY ANNE AND KATHLEEN

Eat the fucking cake

August 16, 2017

I was going to write a wrap up this week from my  30 Clothing Item Challege, but something happened at work this week that really boiled my blood, so that's on pause. 

 

Every month we celebrate the birthdays for the people on my team who have a birthday during that month. We just get some food and maybe chat with each other or casually grab our food and go back to our desks to keep working. But this month we combined the birthday celebration with a pot luck for my manager who is leaving. It wa probably the best/most successful get together we had because so many people participated and we all gathered in a conference room to hang out and eat all the yummy goodness.

 

And to make it even better we had a Costco cake for the birthday part of the event. And if you've never had a cake from Costco, go buy one right now! Not only it's it huge and extremely reasonably priced, it's fucking bomb.com. It's my favorite. It's moist and dense and has this cream cheese filling in the middle that is pure ecstasy.

But something happened as I was cutting a piece of this Heaven on a platter. A lady I work with started talking about how all the food was "sinnful." And I'm like "I'm okay with that"...hoping it would cut her off from continuing to talk about how bad the food is for her. I knew this was where she was taking the conversation because she does it offen. But it didn't stop her.

 

She went on to say something about how she was going to gain so much weight as she was getting food on her plate and I think she said something about how she was really going to need to excercise to be able to eat it. 

 

I stopped her right there. I said, "do you know what's worse than eating this? Not liking yourself." And as I was walking away she said, "well I don't really like myself." And I just feel terrible for her for that she feels that way. I don't wish insecurities on anyone.

 

I politely told her that it was sad she felt that way and that she should focus on that first. And while I didn't take an opportunity to talk to her about this and try to help her, it's because honestly I was annoyed.

 

I've talked about how I wish she wouldn't make comments like that when we are all eating food during other occasions, so I had had enough. She is a very active person and she is probably below the average weight of women in America. Do those things mean she doesn't have insecurities? Hell no. I'm sure she does, especially if she outright says she does. However, I still don't think that means she should continually talk about food in a negative way around everyone else as they are eating it. 

 

One time we were talking about an ice cream product and she said she was going to look up the calories (for herself) and I said, "as long as you don't tell me. I don't want to know," but as soon as she found out she told me.

It could seem like no big deal, but I don't want to always have to think about what I'm eating, how many calories something is. Sometimes, I just want to sit back and enjoy food. And on top of that I asked you not to do something so please respect my wishes, amiright?!

 

Like I said, I was mad because it's one thing to have those insecurities, but to voice them as other people are clearly enjoying the thing that is making you cringe, came off to me as if she was condemning us for our actions. I even, for a second was like uhhh...well I had two plates and am eating cake now...so...umm...should I not eat this?! And then I came to my senses and was like, Toni...it's Costco cake...no brainer! And I know rationally she probably didn't have me or anyone else on her mind when she said it, but it still causes doubt.

 

And this isn't just a her thing. I hear it all the time. 

 

To be honest, I feel like this is such a trend in my life for people to eat something unhealthy and then in the midst, or before, or after eating, they comment on how terrible it was that they were eating that food item. And it's such a hard pill for me to swallow that people can't even enjoy a fucking piece of cake in fear of gaining weight. And I get if it comes from a health standpoint, I guess. But even then, I just wish people realized that it's okay to have a guilt-free piece of cake. It's okay to eat the french fries and the burger. It's going to be okay. 

 

When it comes to a body issue standpoint, on the other hand, that's when my heart hurts for people. When it comes from a body issue standpoint, disguised as a health standpoint, that hurts me even deeper. I just want to know when people will stop worrying and putting so much pressure on themselves to be something that shouldn't even matter. As I have said before and will continue to say, I think it's more important to be person who is kind and has good character than to be thin.

 

So, please, eat a piece of cake. And just for that one piece don't think about the calories, or where it's going to land on your body. Just think about the textures, the flavors, the happiness it brings you. Pay more attention to those around you who are also enjoying the cake. Engage in that conversation rather than the one inside you telling you not to appreciate the treat.

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