"Why do you tuck your shirt in all the time?"
"I could never tuck my shirt in like you do."
"I would never look good with my shirt like that."
"You're so confident and you can wear things like that."
These are just a few comments women have said to me on the days I've chosen to tuck a shirt into a pair of shorts or pants or wear it tied in a knot above my waist line.
And I try really hard not to get offended because they don't mean it to be offensive. They think they are giving me a compliment...even though most sound more like a back-handed compliment even if that isn't the intention.
I just chalk it up to the preconceived societal norms they have been told for so long they probably don't even realize what they're saying -- that I am too fat to walk around with my shirt tucked in or tied up because it shows off my belly line and makes me look larger than I am and therefore uglier. Because let's face it, the women who say it are always, always, always smaller in size than I am. So when they basically say they are too fat, it's like, "uhhhh...okay...so what am I?"
But...I never say that.
Not because I'm not brave enough (or maybe because I'm not)but because instead I like to encourage them to test it out. My words will almost never make a difference if someone isn't opened-minded enough to possibly see my side. So instead, I like to try to prove it.
Below are two pictures. One side is me with my basic white tee untucked and hanging loose. The other is the same tee just tied in a knot. (I tried to tuck it in, but I realized I would never actually tuck this shirt in, but I like to tie it, which gives me the same look with my visible belly line showing.)
*** Note: these photos were taken at the end of the day instead of in the morning so my shirt is far more wrinkled than normal, so I apologize for that. I'm not sure if that would alter the look much, but I don't think it does.
In the first photo, my shirt is long. It's almost to the crotch of my pants. It give me no shape but rectangle. To be honest, I think I actually look larger in the first photo because the shirt is so big. In the second photo, you will notice the knot brings that shirt up and gives me a more defined waist line and almost makes me look taller...not to mention more proportioned.
While I don't believe in having set standards of what flattering looks like because it should be what you are comfortable with, I also don't believe in the need to hide yourself in your clothes so you don't accentuate certain areas of your body because you don't look the models who you see in the adds selling your clothes.
And if you want to style your outfits as they are in the magazines with ties or tucked in, you shouldn't have to be afraid of showing off your visible belly line. There is no need to feel as though your body has to look or be a certain way before you can style a clothing item a certain way.
I also don't feel like you should be so afraid of showing off your stomach that you make your body basically look larger than it is because you feel as though that one "flaw" (as society has labeled it) outweighs all your other assets.
Let me know what style you think looks better and why!!